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Pm Weizenbaum
Why We Chose Kadima
I grew up in a home that preached only that “religion is the opiate of the masses.” My father is Jewish, but he never spoke of Judaism to me or my three sisters. It wasn’t until we got to college that my sisters and I realized, separately, that we were way more Jewish than anything else—but we didn’t know anything about what that meant.
Jack’s parents were similarly non-religious, from a Protestant background. But Jack felt spiritual yearnings, which led him from Presbyterian through Buddhist to Quaker observance. Because spirituality was important to him, I joined Jack at Friends meetings for several years, and we had a Quaker wedding. When we moved to Seattle, though, we didn’t feel a strong connection to the Friends community here.
The birth of our older son Nathan in 1990 reawakened my desire to learn more about Judaism and what it might mean to me. Jack and I decided to have a bris for Nathan—so we had to start by learning what that meant. We took a “Judaism 101” course. Then through a nudge from a friend, we began to attend services at the Jewish Renewal congregation Eitz Or. To my surprise, I felt a deep resonance. Yet I also felt overwhelmed at how, well, “Jewish” everyone else was! I didn’t quite fit in there, with all those people who had grown up Jewish, knew all the concepts, rituals, and prayers, and acted so… devotional. Devotion was not what I could do.
When our younger son was old enough to attend Kadima Community School, we all became Kadima members. Right away the entire family felt comfortable at Kadima. Both Jack and I were stimulated by the multicultural discussions, by the importance of living one’s progressive humanitarian politics—including Palestinian as well as Israeli rights—and by the low-key approach to spirituality and the “formalities” of religion. The Sunday School was well-organized and not at all doctrinaire. We didn’t feel “different” here, or rather, we easily connected with all the other Kadima families in our various differences. The school encouraged discussion of differences, even with the youngest students. Some of the families had Christmas trees, and some were just learning about the intricacies of Passover and the hilarity of Purim, like us.
Our sons are now 16 and 12. We appreciate all that Kadima teaches us, both adults and children. More importantly, we love how warmly we have been met at our stages of learning about Judaism and incorporating it into our lives. Like many other families at Kadima, we learned the Shabbat prayers from our children’s classes, so we could bring them into our home. Now we say blessings every Friday night over candles, challah, and wine. My children have felt completely comfortable developing their own relationship to Judaism. Nathan chose to have his bar mitzvah be very traditional, and at that point he grew payot and had a mikveh; he now keeps kosher. In contrast, Jeremy is currently designing his upcoming bar mitzvah service as a completely non-theistic event. I’ve just learned Hebrew through Kadima, so I can read Torah for the first time at Jeremy’s service. Jack and I act with the Kadima Players, which delights the entire community with its Purim shpiels and playlets. And we are all excited to be part of Kadima’s transition to a full Reconstructionist congregation, wherever that may take us.
Pm Weizenbaum is a freelance editor. Her husband Jack Lee is a math professor at UW. Nathan attends UW, and Jeremy is a seventh-grader at TOPS.