Last week, I shared some thinking about collective teshuvah in a time of a Jewish-perpetrated genocide. This week, I want to focus on our individual teshuvah – the work we must do to own up to our deeds and appease the people we share life and cross paths with. I invite us all to take some time and look back at the past year. Notice what sticks out. Make sure you acknowledge some accomplishments and pride if you tend to focus on what was lacking. Make sure to notice some lacking, some growth edges, even some embarrassment if you tend to be drawn to only the positives. As the Elul moon grows full, try to gain as full a perspective as you can on your behavior these last eleven and a half months.
When I look back at the last year, there is certainly some pride and some embarrassment. Some avoidance and some shrinking. Some courage and some daring. When I’m honest, I cannot look at the last year as one of my best, and Elul gives us all the opportunity to own, admit, and mend what got broken and tweak our behaviors so we can avoid similar mis-takes ahead.
The month of Elul is full of potential. It is pregnant with the possibility that all could be made fresh. The slate could be wiped clean. Renewal is, if we can put in some work, is actually prescribed. While it is famously known as a potential acronym for ani l’dodi v’dodi li – I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, which might speak to the love and hope of this renewal, I learned this year of a phrase from a Yiddish Techine whose acronym is also the name of this powerful month: oy li v’oy l’nafshi – alas for me and alas for my soul. Elul gives us a chance to dwell in how we actually feel about his past year as well: oy.
Individual teshuvah will require we take some time and put in some work – Yom Kippur itself, we are told, can absolve our mis-deeds in relationship to the Divine, but only after doing the work of mending and appeasement can Yom Kippur bring absolvement for our relationships with other humans. So, I’d like to offer a chutzpadik assignment this year for Rosh HaShanah, and you will know that you are not alone in doing it, because, in fact, it is how I intend to spend some of my time during the moon-waning days for the rest of this potential-infused month.
We have the power to change our lives, Elul reminds us. We have the power to change our lives. If only we would use it. B’hatzlicha – may we find success in our traversing.
Shabbat shalom,
R’ David
PS – as you register for Kadima High Holidays, consider offering tzedakah to Gaza Soup Kitchen as well.
When I look back at the last year, there is certainly some pride and some embarrassment. Some avoidance and some shrinking. Some courage and some daring. When I’m honest, I cannot look at the last year as one of my best, and Elul gives us all the opportunity to own, admit, and mend what got broken and tweak our behaviors so we can avoid similar mis-takes ahead.
The month of Elul is full of potential. It is pregnant with the possibility that all could be made fresh. The slate could be wiped clean. Renewal is, if we can put in some work, is actually prescribed. While it is famously known as a potential acronym for ani l’dodi v’dodi li – I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine, which might speak to the love and hope of this renewal, I learned this year of a phrase from a Yiddish Techine whose acronym is also the name of this powerful month: oy li v’oy l’nafshi – alas for me and alas for my soul. Elul gives us a chance to dwell in how we actually feel about his past year as well: oy.
Individual teshuvah will require we take some time and put in some work – Yom Kippur itself, we are told, can absolve our mis-deeds in relationship to the Divine, but only after doing the work of mending and appeasement can Yom Kippur bring absolvement for our relationships with other humans. So, I’d like to offer a chutzpadik assignment this year for Rosh HaShanah, and you will know that you are not alone in doing it, because, in fact, it is how I intend to spend some of my time during the moon-waning days for the rest of this potential-infused month.
- Make a list. Write down the names of the people with whom your contribution was lacking. Where you missed. Where you know you could have done better.
- Choose one person to write a draft of a letter to. Own your part, your contribution, what you did or did not do. Acknowledge it. Express regret for it – whatever is true. Apologize for it. Ask if there is anything they need for repair. Express if and perhaps how you will refrain from repeating the behavior.
- Read the letter you wrote and ask yourself if it is honest. Ask yourself if you regret what you did or didn’t do that you don’t feel proud of. Edit it accordingly.
- Send the letter.
- Sit with the feelings in your heart and your body having admitted to these things.
- Discern if you have the strength and the capacity and the resiliency to choose another person. If so, repeat steps 2-5. If not, save the list to come back to when you do (you do not need to wait until next Elul).
- Repeat step 5 wherever and whenever useful or needed.
We have the power to change our lives, Elul reminds us. We have the power to change our lives. If only we would use it. B’hatzlicha – may we find success in our traversing.
Shabbat shalom,
R’ David
PS – as you register for Kadima High Holidays, consider offering tzedakah to Gaza Soup Kitchen as well.
RSS Feed